The Growing Disconnect Among Men
Photo credit: Lukas Rychvalsky/Unsplash
This may be a slightly uncomfortable topic to explore, but it feels like an important one in the current mental health climate.
Loneliness in men is on the rise and, whilst it is recognised as a major health risk with increased rates of anxiety, depression, suicide*, and even dementia linked, many men still lack the support needed to connect and access the right help.
The increasing levels of loneliness isn’t by any means male-specific, in fact research suggests that the problem is growing generally. However, it feels to me that there are particular social and cultural pressures, surrounding masculinity, that make loneliness in men a more complex subject.
*Whilst there will be many contributing factors, it’s worth noting that men account for three quarters of all suicide deaths in the UK and it is the leading cause of death in men under 50.
‘This is how it feels to be lonely’ 🎶
For those that remember that song.
But do we actually know what it means to be lonely?
To admit to loneliness and ask for help, which is difficult enough in itself, you first have to recognise it.
In an article titled Loneliness: A disease?, Sarvada Chandra Tiwari offers various definitions and explanations of the term:
“A state of solitude or being alone.”
“…not necessarily about being alone. Instead, it is the perception of being alone and isolated that matters most,”
“A state of mind.”
“Inability to find meaning in one’s life,”
“A feeling of disconnectedness or isolation,”
“A subjective, negative feeling related to deficient social relations.”
So maybe it’s not that straightforward.
Besides what may seem obvious to some, loneliness can also look like being busy all the time, working long hours, carrying the responsibilities of work and family, whilst still experiencing the absence of meaningful and supportive personal relationships.
It can go unrecognised and unnoticed.
What’s driving it?
There are likely many reasons for increasing loneliness and a spectrum of causes across different age groups.
For example, there has been much written about “The Male Friendship Recession”, with the focus placed on men in mid-life, where priorities have shifted towards being a partner, husband, provider and father, leaving little to no time for independent social interaction.
Then there are those who perhaps lived a life with a big circle of friends from school or university. As people have gradually paired off into coupledom, they’re left with a diminished social life and left wondering how, and when, their own soul mate will come along.
There are also men who are single due to separation or divorce, or who have been widowed, perhaps lacking the confidence to venture out alone without the comfort of their “other half” to navigate even familiar social circles.
A myriad of circumstances and not necessarily within conscious control.
So what are the barriers preventing men from making meaningful connections? Is it the way many of us now live? Longer working hours, remote working, busy family lives? Is social media a factor? Are we now living in a digitally connected yet emotionally disconnected world? Has modern life reduced the opportunities men once had to form friendships and communities through hobbies, workplaces, or local social groups?
An unintended consequence?
We’ve rightly created spaces for women and minority groups to support empowerment, representation and equality. In the workplace many organisations have taken steps to make sure that representative groups have a safe space for networking and support. But alongside that progress, have we made it more difficult for men to find community? Is there a risk, or fear that forming male-only support networks could be judged negatively?
Like everyone else, men need opportunities to engage with people who face the same problems and challenges that they do. We can keep encouraging men to talk about loneliness but we also need to create a safe environment for them to do so. A space that’s not overshadowed by prejudice or judgement.
The next generation
But what about the current generation of young men? The social media, online gamer generation, where “friends” are often digital personas.
Between social media and the pandemic, many young men have become increasingly used to spending time in relative isolation and, in my opinion, these men, or boys, have a much more complex social dynamic to navigate.
More recently, the public conversation around men has become increasingly negative. Between the rise of incel culture and increasing rates of male violence against women, the image of men in the media has become more complex and often more critical.
The potential impact of this narrative is that men begin to feel even more isolated, misunderstood, or unwelcome. This is something that could affect all men but for the younger generation, this could be their reality in the very society they are still trying to find their place in.
Has the conversation become so focused on what we are trying to prevent that we are no longer asking what young men need in order to feel connected, valued, and emotionally healthy in the first place?
It’s not my intention to trivialise the very real problems we face, but unless we can find some balance in the conversation we run the very real risk that boys grow into men believing they are unwanted, distrusted, or inherently problematic.
Whilst most young men will not become radicalised, violent, or consumed by online subcultures, that does not mean the growing sense of disconnection should be ignored.
Loneliness, rejection, and a lack of belonging have consequences and so we need to deal with the stigma if we want meaningful change.
How do we fix it?
There’s no easy answer.
Loneliness is complex, personal, and shaped by the world we now live in, regardless of sex. But somehow we need to find a way to create environments where men feel safe to talk, reconnect, and find support without judgement.
Maybe the first step is being willing to acknowledge the problems, controversial though they may be, and talk about them.
Help & Support
Homeopathy can be a powerful tool to help break cycles of anxiety, depression and grief, as well as low confidence and even agoraphobic tendencies. Alongside other therapeutic tools, such as talk or cognitive therapies, support is there to help with underlying mental emotional symptoms that can often underpin, or even manifest as a result of loneliness.
https://www.findahomeopath.org
References
Tiwari, S. C. (2013). Loneliness: A disease? Indian Journal of Psychiatry, 55(4), 320–322. https://doi.org/10.4103/0019-5545.120536
Office for National Statistics – Suicides in the United Kingdom: 2024 registrations
Office for National Statistics. (2025). Suicides in the United Kingdom: 2024 registrations. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/suicidesintheunitedkingdom/2024registrations
National Audit Office – Tackling violence against women and girls
National Audit Office. (2025). Tackling violence against women and girls. https://www.nao.org.uk/reports/tackling-violence-against-women-and-girls/
Marceau, A. (2026, March 20). Male loneliness epidemic: Myths, research, and coping strategies. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/male-loneliness-epidemic